10, 11, 12.. the big 1

Abigail,
The past 12 months have been a wonderful journey of growth in all aspects of life. Both in my life and your life. It’s been an exciting travel. I have grown to see you from a tiny little thing that was solely and completely dependent on me to a little curious munch and who enjoys exploring places on her own. You’ve grown to be happy child especially this week. You’ve been happy. Waking up early, playing, feeding well. 

Having you in my life has continued reinforce some of the lessons I have had in my life. I remembered that I need to be more patient with life and all especially when I feed you for 30 minutes. You always smile even when you wake up in the morning. My little morning person. You’re very animated in you conversation and you do love getting heard. I do hope you learn to listen as well. 

We still haven’t established what your favorite color is or what your favorite yogurt flavor is. But we have time for that. You love music and dancing. Gosh I guess it’s true what the muzungus say, dancing is actually our blood 😀 You also love playing with cats. You get so excited even when you’re having a dull day. The cats bring a smile to your face.

Abigail you bring light to my life, and there’s never a dull day with you. You have taught me to to love selflessly. With everything in me. Each new day is a new way to show you how I love you. I look forward to teaching you new things like how to give hugs. A hug can change the turn of a dull day. I hope and pray that the Lord will bless me with long life and that he will grant me knowledge and wisdom to raise you well. 
I love you my precious child. God bless you greatly.
Happy first birthday

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When you just have to grieve!

Sometimes we are faced with huge losses. When a loved one dies or when a relationship ends or when a business deal doesn’t go through. A loss still remains a loss. The thing lost doesn’t change the fact that it’s a loss.

The grieving process has never been easy. We try to be strong so we can go through the pain. We get too afraid to let the pain out because we are so afraid it might kill us. So we hold on but don’t give in. We try so hard to not feel but it lingers heavily on our hearts and minds.
Grieving paves the way for healing. When you let the pain go through the system, it touches the deepest part of the soul and goes through. Yes it never leaves you the same.
When you grieve, you learn to let go. You learn what true strength is. You learn to fight to be better tomorrow.

I don’t usually advise people to go through the grieving process fast. Healing takes time. You have to deal with it how comes and how it goes. It eventually gets better. And as cliche as this sounds, time actually heals all wounds. It heals the wreckage left when a friendship comes to an end. When a relationship didn’t last as long as you hoped. It gets better with time.

It’s not going to be easy. And everyone deals with loss differently but it gets better. Leave in each emotion even those that feel like your insides are coming out. Leave in each emotion because tomorrow, chances are high you’ll feel another totally different emotion all together.

Life is full of goals and achievements. But the same life is full of failures and losses. Sometimes you’ve tried your best to make it work. With certain things, no matter how hard you try, they just won’t add up. With certain things, maybe you tried to hard. You might need to let go and grieve. Then will come a bunch of stuff, acceptance and then healing.

What I’m saying is, it’s good to grieve. Because grieving brings healing. Don’t try to fight it. Just let it go. Let it out.
I’ve heard it sang before “If it doesn’t break your heart it isn’t love”. Don’t how much truth it holds but I say, when dust settles, you’ll be fine.

Later.