2013…2014, the year in between.

27th December, 4 days to end 2013… Ahhh it’s that time of the year that we review the year. Check off the things we wanted to do and actually did, high-five ourselves for the things we did but weren’t on the original list and frown upon ourselves for the things we didn’t do. We are going to make new years resolutions and we might follow through with a quarter of them or even all. I for one gave up making those. I never really follow through.

I remember thinking I want 2013 to be awesome. I’ll have my baby and I’ll do well. I remember thinking I can totally take this. Bring it on 2013. You won’t know what hit you ūüėÄ Somewhere along the way, I forgot that even the best laid plans get derailed. Nothing really went according to plan. And I guess at some points I gave up because I just couldn’t fight longer or harder or whatever!

Now, 2013 had it’s good moments. The highlight being the birth of my little munchkin who is the light of my life. A child is one of life’s biggest adjustments and a hard one at that. But she brings light into my life.
I’ve made some new awesome friends. I was able to get to know some old friends better. I learnt more about myself (learning really never ends). Yes, it has had it’s awesome moments. Besides, there’s four more days to go anything can happen (I’m working on being optimistic)

Overall though 2013 has been an ish-ish year. It hasn’t really been my year. I’ve survived more than thrived. I’ve been content with just being. I’ve settled when I could be aiming higher. I’ve given up even when I know I should have tried harder. I’ve said goodbye to friends and I don’t like goodbyes.
This year has taught me that life can beat you down and bruise you but you can never officially be out. Yes maybe I’m like that one movie character that doesn’t really die. They come back from the ruins. I am found in the aftermath. I learnt that it’s okay to be loved and it’s also okay love (yes I’m still learning that lesson). I’ve been reminded that nobody is perfect and that even when I think someone is “the worst”, God loves us all the same. They have as much right as I do to be here. My eyes have been opened to different kinds of sin present in my life. That was a tough pill to swallow. But it’s easier to deal with it when you’re aware of it. 

This year has been a “bipolar” kind of year. And I’ve lived every moment. I’ve gone through each emotion and it didn’t kill me. And now, here comes 2014, a blank canvas. Another opportunity to do something new. A chance to put into practice this year’s lessons! So maybe it will be my year. Only God knows. It’s safer to put my trust in the one who knows the future. They say, do something new everyday or is it do something new everyday that scares you. They both sound right. There’s plenty of new stuff. Just know it’s going to be a good year. I guess I’m going to use different looking glasses.

Have an awesome 2014 folks. Trust the one who knowa the future.


Random rumblings of a tired mind

The week has been a tiring one. On almost all fronts. I’ve had too much idle time on my hands. This should be a good thing. I would have been able to get creative and come up with some amazing ideas. Well that didn’t happen. Instead, I give a lot of things a lot of thought. Mostly emotional stuff. I second guessed certain choices, I dreamed certain dreams, I felt certain emotions. And now I feel the need to blog a bunch of stuff.

Love is a feeling that is so powerful. It’s greater than fear or pride or hate! It has the intensity to make you or break you. It’s something so fragile that it easily breaks and yet so strong that it is still able to make a comeback so powerful it leaves you stunned. You never see it coming. Sometimes it creeps in slowly and makes itself comfy. Other times in comes in with a big bang you have no choice than to acknowledge it. Bottom line is, you never see it coming. Every love story is written differently.

I’ve been vulnerable before. You know that point where you inner most secrets, failures, sad times are lying there. In the open for people to pick on. What do you do when you reach that point? The point where your friends, frenemies and enemies see your weaknesses. See stuff that they can manipulate and twist to their favor. What do you do? Where do you go to hide from yourself?

So life has all these rules. Some of them I find absolutely silly. And some I find necessary. Rules are good, they give you structure. But at what point do you rule out the silly rules that you won’t live by. Why do we have to make life so complicated? Who says exes can’t be friends? Who says guys and girls can’t just be friends? We all need each other. Yes we do. If we didn’t then maybe God would have placed each one of us on separate islands and we’d stay there. We’d never learn to fight for what’s worth fighting for. So maybe you can call me naive for believing that we can actually live in a world where we can all be friends. Why do we have to make life so complicated?

The greatest period of growth and self discovery is in your 20s. Yes sometimes by the time you’re halfway to 30, you don’t really know what your doing with your life. But at least you’ve tried out a bunch of stuff and have come to know what works for you and what doesn’t. Keep calm because you’re narrowing down your options. You are closer today than you were yesterday. So enjoy your 20s. They won’t last forever.

Apply wisdom and smarts to everything. Look to God as the source and definition of who you are. As human beings, our views of how we see other are subject to change most of the time depending on how we feel about ourselves at that particular time. And being objective is difficult but not impossible. I’ll borrow someone’s words to say this and also add a few of my own “People are fragile things so be careful what you say to them or what you put them through. They break when you force them and they break when you don’t try”.

So, it’s okay to love. It’s okay to show some weakness. It’s okay to try out something new. It’s okay to sometimes just close your eyes and jump. And it’s okay to think things through twice or thrice depending on what you prefer. Yes it sucks when things don’t work out but at least you embraced the spirit of adventure and gave it a shot. Don’t berate yourself too much. God has a plan for each of our lives. Don’t give up too soon. Life still goes on.

Don’t be afraid of the unknown.


The 5 habits of the gitl who won’t give up

I found these 5 habits interesting. And I think they can go both ways. Girls and guys.


Be Unforgettable

I was recently watching Tyler Perry’s “Temptations: Confessions of a marriage Counsellor”.¬†Very interesting movie. It became a little cliche somewhere along the way and some parts made me think why would the woman stay with the side guy when he clearly had signs and symptoms of some sort of disturbance. Anyway that’s another topic all together.¬†

So I’m not married or even soon to be so I haven’t experienced what happens there but I want to say something that stood out from that movie. When the main character’s husband forgot her birthday her workmate tells her “You’re forgettable”. These guys had been married for six years and had know each other since they were six years old! In such a case, people tend to get comfortable with each other. By the time you get married, you’ve seen each other at your worst points. And you best points and the points in between.¬†

When you get married, it’s supposed to be for life. Good points, bad points and points in between included. And with this it becomes so easy to “blend in”. You become more comfortable to be who you are. Right?¬†

Ladies and gentlemen, don’t get too comfortable. Marriage needs to keep going. Keep doing some of the things you did before you got married. Go out for date nights. Dress nice and fancy if your going to a nice and fancy restaurant. Hold each others hands while you out there. Laugh at his jokes even though you’ve had them hundreds of times before. Look into each other’s yes.

Ladies keep doing your hair, wear make up if he likes it. Bath twice a day or even more. No one ever got arrested for over bathing. Smell nice. Dress nicely even though all your going to do is stay at home all day. If he loves your nails done, do your nails. As much as you take care of your house, take care of yourself. Have “Me time” often to keep refreshing yourself but not too often that you forget about him. Love him as best as you can and love him the he wants you to.¬†

Gentlemen, keep a clean hair cut, shave often. Smell nice. Exercise regularly. Yes maybe your wife feeds you so well your growing around the belly region but still exercise. Don’t become too obese. Guys keep saying small things don’t matter to them, but they matter us women. Keep noticing them. When she smells nice, tell her. Try as much as you can to look at her hair. Buy her flowers and chocolate often not only on her birthday. Tell her you love her. Play like children. Hold her hand even though you’re just at the supermarket. Love her as best as you can and also love her the way she wants.¬†

Men and women are complicated people but above all, we love consistency keep some of the good things from your dating and courtship days alive in your marriage. Be Unforgettable 

Have a great day y’all!¬†


Being in your twenties.

One of my close friends sent me this message yesterday and I thought I’d share it with all those in their 20s.

Being in your twenties.
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start¬†realizing that there are many things about yourself that¬†you didn’t know and may not like.You start feeling¬†insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,¬†but then get scared because you barely know where you
are now.¬†You start realizing that people are selfish and that,¬†maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close¬†to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met,¬†and the people you have lost touch with are some of the¬†most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that¬†they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty,¬†mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.¬†You look at your job… and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are¬†looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have¬†to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions¬†have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and¬†find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly¬†you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life¬†and are constantly adding things to your list of what is¬†acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure¬†and then the next, secure.¬†You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You¬†feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is¬†the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear¬†life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and¬†further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where¬†you are or move forward.¬†You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you¬†loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and¬†wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that¬†you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love¬†someone but ¬†you also love someone else too and cannot figure out¬†why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a¬†bad person. You want to settle down for good because¬†now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting¬†wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You¬†begin to think a companion for life is better than a¬†hundred in the sack and for once you would not mind¬†standing tall for that special someone which otherwise¬†you had never thought of until now.¬†You go through the same emotions and questions over¬†and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics¬†because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry¬†about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great,¬†right now you’d just like to be a contender!¬†What you may not realize is that every one reading this¬†relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of¬†times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing¬†out.¬†
We call it the “Quarter-life Crisis”.”